Main Character mode.

Hi. 

Currently at Perodua Glenmarie. serviced my car here/ was so happy when the total i need to pay was RM270 and then suddenly got a call that my battery almost gone. 

so i asked "what's the total now?" 

"RM590" 

ceit. but still, i was expecting that. 

so i said "proceed jela". 

what's happening to my life so far? quite happening. September was dramatic. it made me realize that i AM the main character of my own life. 

earlier in September, my father passed away. 

and then, 2 weeks after, somebody at my workplace who hated me wants my role to be taken over by a junior colleague. and my new role now is at the faculty, no more related with research. 

at first i was sad la. i mean, i kinda overworked myself in the research team. i had fun but this year was quite discouraging. the way the management handled and always try to shift some blames, things just not that fun anymore. it was actually bleak. so i think moving to the faculty was maybe new kind of experience and hey, i know some people there and some of them actually looked forward to see me there. so i'm happy. 

and the fact that i don't need to care about those reporting anymore? good riddance. bye bye all of you. 

anyway, now that these things happened, it gives me some moments for me to gather my thoughts about continuing my study. with the way the job opportunities are so challenging now, i was checking out the PhD that offered allowance.

UITM: allowance=RM2000. research is related to Biofilm, my background. sample is algae, so eukaryotic sample, which i don't like. the supervisor is nice but i think our relationship might be like employer-employee relationship instead of mentor-mentee one. 

Taylor's: allowance=RM3200. research is related with Recombinant DNA and Proteins. which i like. both i had an experience on. the thing is, it'll be in Taylor's, a private. they give scholarship tho. but for how long? i know how private uni works. what if the project suddenly extended? will the scholarship extend? i don't want to pay those amount. i mean, i want a PhD but if that'll bring me debt, i don't want that. PhD is only a necessity for me, not a requirement...yet.

so i have to check on other opportunities too for my personal growth. but we dunno yet, maybe the new role will give a different kind of opportunity to me. 

so that's that. 

bye.

The Last Grin

Hi. i'm back.

remember that i mentioned before that my father was admitted to IJN? 

he passed away a day after he was discharged. 

more like, he passed on 7th Sept midnight. he was discharged on the 5th. 

i was in the mood to blog at that time. almost every day. but then, his last moment came without even saying any goodbye and he left us. so smooth, so fast, so bloody conflicting for me who had to see it, who also hoping that whatever happened at the last moments that day was actually an ease for him. which made me so frustrated but so at ease that Allah knows more about whats best for him and for me. 

still tho. it's bloody hard. so effing hard. i missed him so much. the whole family missed him. we care too much about him, i think even more than our own that it's so hard to pretend that everything will be as usual. yes, we're moving on. but the emptiness that he won't be around anymore?

that's just so hard.

grieving is tough. why nobody mentioned that? i experienced it before when my mother passed away but i was only 12. but to grieve as an adult? hard. very very hard.

it's tough being alone. your mind wandered to a dangerous place. that feeling of emptiness is a dangerous thing. but i need to tough up myself. i need to move on. my father left with a grin. like "hey, i leave first. meet you all later, but not now". his face was so relax. unlike the last moment he had with us, where we were all so panic, so not calm, but seeing him lifeless but with a smile, who are we to say "come back"? that last grin was a moment that it is time for us to let go. 

i wonder that if he left while saying an expected last words to us, will that be okay? will that be better? but Allah makes the best decision. i guess maybe the way he left us makes us realize that we love him more than we thought. i loved my father the most in the world, but maybe now i realize the love is way beyond than i expected.

oh Ayah, i missed you so much.

you were a very nice person throughout your life. strangers know you for the first time, and they can't forget you after that. you gave good memories to many people and i hope you know that. 

oh my heart. be a good Muslim. be a good child. be a good adult. stand up for what's right. my parents always let me having my own fun, never limit my own potential, never stop my interest.

i thought i can't end this post with a smile, but i did. 

i thank you all for reading.

Othman bin Ithnin. you were a kind man, a funny one. the joy to many people. and we will always remember the memories. 

Al-Fatihah.

4th Sept 2026 Rant

Hi. 

my father finally discharged from IJN today. Alhamdulillah! 

tho some sad updates: his heart is like 36% working now and his kidney is like borderline almost dialysis-stage. still tho, he's well and that's what matters most. he needs to monitor his water intake to only 1L per day only. 

it's actually hard for me right now to accept this news. but i have to remain like everything is normal. i just need to pray very very hard that Allah will let us borrow him longer than we wish. 

for now, he is here and i'll wish for nothing but more memories with him. 

so in another news, i got my blood tests result. i did mentioned before that i would do some blood test on Thursday the 4th Sept, and so i did. i used the RM50 package by Klinik Dr Prevent at Kota Kemuning. so the doctor took my blood, my urine and also did ultrasound to check my kidney. my kidney is okay and my urine is ok. apparently, the blood test showed that i have low hemoglobin. i have mild anemia. also, i have a slightly higher cholesterol LDL. so i need to eat more oats, lean red meat, more red bayam. and also more cardiovascular exercise. you might see me windowshop more after this. i need to reach 10k per day and windowshop is my briskwalk. 

i did not expect the mild anemia. but maybe that's the reason why i was fatigue. 

so after my father got discharged from IJN, i brought Alena and Alda to Lalaport and Lot 10. had Kagura ramen at Lot 10 and bought some food at Don Donki. then we went to Lalaport and i end giving Alena an early birthday gift: an ATEEZ's album. luckily the album is not expensive as during my time. i feel like i cannot disappoint another fangirl as i was also a fangirl before. but wow, there really wasn't any TVXQ or Super Junior's merch there. wow wow. 

and that is all. 

thank you for reading. 

3rd Sept 2026 post.

Hi. 

so i'm in my blogging mood. i blame the new keyboard for this tablet. 

so what happened after the last post, which was like 2 days ago? 

so my father got warded in IJN cos he has pleural effusion. i'm too lazy to google the right term but that's what he has now. his heart got weak so his heart didn't pump the blood properly and that affected his kidney. and kidney pushed the water into his lungs instead. so he was wheezing the last few days. the doctor wants to monitor him in the next 3 days so got warded la. 

so i took EL and had to take care of him last night. taking care of sick people in their critical stage is so so exhausting. but no matter, all for the healing stages. 

another news is that i will have a new boss who replaced my bestie colleague. and that person hates me. so yeah, i'm gonna be like the calmest person in the room for the next few months. we'll see how she's leading my workplace cos she cannot even lead her own committee and now she wants to lead another person's committee cos she thinks our committee is not doing well. or whatever. she sucks. badly. 

so now i'm at TRX, at Boucake Japanese Cafe. quite expensive but i choose cravings than being kemut. so yeah, bye bye RM70+++. and you know what, i have blood test tomorrow. 

oh. i ordered the Lunch Set which cost RM40 and also their famous souffle pancake,which is like RM34. ha ha. biorla mahal. asalkan happy. 

ok Wagyu Spaghetti Meatball dah sampai. 

ok makan dulu. bye bye. kalau rajin i tambah lagi. 

(continue)

ok i'm back. i had the one i craved the most, the Pancake. and it was huge!! i had to ask Alisa to come fast cos i don't think i can finish it alone and i also ordered the pasta. 

HUGE!

and yummsss. better eat it with another person tho. i was contemplating to takeaway or not, but as someone who hates to waste food, i requested the shop to pack it, together with the chocolate and also the banana pieces. they said okayyy. how nice. 

Alisa wasn't in a good mood as the PR firm for the place she had to collab with got upset with her for something unnecessary. and she got mad cos she talked in malay with the customers. erm yeah, this is at TRX, but still..... nak racist ke tew??? 

you know, work has not been fun this year. which is quite sad when the majority in it are so bloody nice. but hey, if the higher management being like devil, we just have to swallow and hope that we won't ever work directly with these people. 

ok now.

see you when i'm in the mood again.

1st Sept 2026 random post

Hi.

I'm blogging on a whim. 

My nail is broken, just to let you know. it's painful. a pain in the finger kind-of-pain. tbh it's not great. but we move on. 

i just bought a new keyboard for my tablet. this is a second one cos the first one was broken. it happened when i couldn't clicked the T. and so it broke, and i threw it away and bought this cute pink one. the previous one was a white, with colourful blinking lights. thought that function is useless. 

i dunno who will read this, but who cares. maybe my current and future employees will check. in case they wanna check my background or to find out my secret or something. 

the only secret they'll get is that i read adult mangas and webtoons. and why is that? cos i'm an adult. a wise and a fun adult who has her own hobby. just cos i'm single, doesn't mean i don't care about sex even though it's an illustration kind. 

anyway, life has not been okay, work-wise. my boss/work bestie got demoted to clean other department's shit. bravo to those who decide that and replace her with someone that is still wet behind the ears. i like the new boss but i need someone to look up to, not someone that i had to assist when his salary is way higher than me. he should support me, and not the other way round. but employers, right? they think they know better than us. 

...should've ask our opinion instead of relying on one person's word. i mean, we worked with our hands, not our mouths. so better come and check instead of rely on someone else's words. 

so that's one thing. 

i just notice that my healing process is by laughing, and not the kind that 'go to nature' kind of healing. i mean, the weather is hot and i want a place to cool me down instead of making me the responsible one. i had fun during the Tok Bak Family Day at Melaka last weekend. so so fun. i laughed so hard. good vibes all around. i know my relatives better. i had so many prejudice but during the event, i found out that some of them are so nice and i'm the evil one to even think badly about them. that's why we need more of this family day again. so that we can have fun, love while we still can. 

oh i baked the Chrissy Teigen's Banana Choc Cake.

still sedap giler.

ok now i dunno what to type. 

bye then. 

good night! 

hey

Hi all. 

Haven't blog for many many years. Though my Instagram is basically a blog with the long post there. 

Anyway, I feel like typing cos I have Xiaomi Tab 7 that has cute casing and cute keyboard. And a white mouse too. (I just ordered a cute mousepad cost RM3 from shopee last night). So now I'm blogging. 

I dunno if anybody still reads this blog but hey, let me rant. I feel like an author now. I'm active in Instagram now and only retweets things in twitter. I am a silent reader in Thread tho I occasionally commented some posts. But you know, I need some longer place to rant so I'm back to blogging.

Tbh I started blogging cos there is this situation that feels kind of high school happening among the group members now. Won't reveal who but that person is smart enough to know I am talking about her. But if you really read this, I just wanna say: nothing. 

So I am now 36. The last 5 years, I didn't feel as old as this time. This is when I feel '"omg I have only 4 years to be 40!!!" 

I'm in the best place in my life right now. I feel content. I am a responsible adult, who does not have the time to care about another nonsense except interesting gossip. I'm very busy right now. I dunno how I'm coping but I am actively working. i do rest at night and also during weekend. But I am super busy. I feel like work just added up all the time and now I feel like I have things that I might have missed. But that's a work matter. And so, cos of this busy-ness, I try to make time for myself. I socially go outside with my close friends or my family. Playing tourist at KL or playing cafe lover at TTDI. And this is how I managed my mental health. I will make an effort to socially be active. Though I choose to hang out with my friends instead of finding some online 'friends'.

That's basically my life right now: work, hang out, sleep, try to eat healthy. 

Btw I am trying to eat healthy by eating smoothie with anlene milk, oat and dates. I did have some glow up 😂😂. And I am trying reduce my dessert intake. Those who knows me might know my favourite place to eat cake and right now I am trying to make the visit to eat there at least once in 3 months. It was actually working until my birthday arrived and I got 4 cakes in 2 days. I need to finish those cakes fast cos they are delicious and expensive so I think I might have some sugar spike now. Though not in the bad range yet or else I'll be in an unhealthy mode. I am still fat tho. Overweight fat tho, not obese fat yet. 

Wow my sentences are so messed up. Oh well.

I'm blanking now. Might blog again.

What happened today? My boss gave me an extra RM10 angpow. 😆

Bye. 

Liverpool FC : 19.

I'm 30. And Liverpool FC just won a league title after 30 years.⁣

⁣

I supported LFC since 2001. So I waited 19 years for the league title. And that 19 years alone had so many good memories, bad memories and the weird ones. ⁣

⁣

From a girl who saw Michael Owen on a newspaper and thought "oh the guy is cute". Then came the 1st full LFC match i ever watched: a LFC v Man Utd match. Michael Owen scored twice, Danny Murphy scored another and oh, the famous David Beckham scored a consolation. And that's when the support started. ⁣

⁣

I woke up at 4am just to see a football match. My late mother didn't mind a girl that just reached 12 watched a football match cos she knew that i kinda did the same with my F1 fandom (Mika Hakkinen fan here!!) She knew how passionate i could be. Tbh i was new. I only followed cos of Michael Owen. ⁣

⁣

Then Owen left. That's when i know those late nights weren't bcos of that one man. It was for a whole team. LFC just announced Rafa Benitez as manager to replace Houllier. I followed Rafa cos his old team beat Liverpool 2-0 in CL. 2004/05 season was that season when i knew that Liverpool FC is something else. That was when the people around me knew me as Alia Liverpool. Those comebacks. Those wins. They were all dramatic. And that also the time when i knew banters. Schoolmates laughed at me. I laughed at them. We were looking forward to go to school just to break the news that their team had lost. My team sucks in the league that season but we won CL so dramatically that it was incredible. ⁣

⁣

Then i found out that the CL is not what the real Liverpool fans want. I mean, yeah, we got the Big Ears but they want the league. I was still naive as a fan. I was clueless. And so i learned the history after following how good LFC were in the past throughout the seasons after that 2005. ⁣

⁣

After i knew about the history and the legends, we almost win the league but didn't really win it. ⁣

⁣

Then the dark past. Rafa left. Liverpool almost disappeared. It was bad. I felt hopeless. Then some wise Americans bought LFC. LFC kinda had to start anew. New managers. Hodgson was hired and fired immediately. King Kenny replaced him, he gave us some good memories and a cup. He left. Rodgers came. We almost win the league again. Almost. Cos Hendo my guy got a red card when i was happy we beat Man City and also cos Gerrard stupidly slip. Crystal Palace broke us to the core and made it worse. We were 2nd. But that league? Not there.⁣

⁣

Then Klopp came. Transitional period again. Just like Hodgson, Kenny and Rodgers. I didn't trust anybody but then that Dortmund match when we had that dramatic win, i was wowed. Ooh. We're back. ⁣

⁣

But we lose a Europa League final against Sevilla, then a CL final at Kiev. Both stupid finals that i want to forget. The finals were stupid, but the LFC team were getting better. So many brilliant display. Shame there weren't any trophy to prove that. ⁣

⁣

Unexpectedly, we didn't won the league in 2019 but won the CL instead. It was surprising. We were so good in the league but we were more disciplined in the CL. 1st trophy. Klopp's first with us. Hendo my guy the captain's first trophy with us. ⁣

⁣

But still. The league. When will the 'almost' end?⁣

⁣

It ends. No more almost. Liverpool Football Club finally win the fucking league. After 19 years for me, after 30 years for the one who had waited forever. ⁣

⁣

Thanks Klopp and co. Thanks Hendo and teammates. Thanks LFC supporters who supported them before 1990. Thanks for waiting and thanks for letting us join the wait. The wait was worth it. ⁣

⁣

You'll Never Walk Alone! #LFCchampion 

i went to Tokyo: KLIA2 to Haneda Airport

Assalam and hello.

i suppose my posts about the Tokyo trip will be very detailed and long instead of simple and concise like what every blogger supposed to. but whatever, it was my 1st trip after more than a decade, so i decide what i want to blog.

and i hope you read it like a diary that you secretly read too.

somewhere in Taito, i think.

so the flight was on 29th June 2017. just 5 days after Eid Fitr. a week before the trip, i've already told the people closest to me that i'd go to Tokyo with my sis. all i want at that time were their blessing for a safe trip. tho my sis was still a bit secretive about it but she did tell her closest friends about it.

2.30pm was the time for our plane to depart and so we arrived at the airport around 11am. we actually had some payments to do even though i said before that we only handcarried our bags to the airport.

firstly, we had to pay for the our check-in luggage for the flight from Haneda-KL. at first we thought 7kg of handcarry bags was enough cos like a show-off of poor people, we thought we wouldn't do any shopping.

hahaha. for someone who went there for only 4 days, 60000yen is actually too much. so we decided to just pay for the check-in bag but only for the departure flight to KL. mind you, because we paid it after the booking time, we had to pay extra RM30. original price is about RM70, i think. so we ended up paying RM102.

that wasn't all. few weeks before the flight, my dear little sister suddenly said she wanted to sit with me in the plane. so we had to pay more. luckily, there was no extra charge than the original price for the seats, but still, it was so last minute, i kinda cursed at her. apparently, she wanted to put her head on my shoulder when she sleeps on the plane so she needs me beside her. nway, the price of the seats for one person for both return flights was about RM78? i wasn't sure now. but *sigh* about that price.

i tell you, ok. last minute plan before a trip that require money is a bloody no no. but hell, i had to.

all of these were paid at the Customer Service Counter. we didn't have any check-in luggage so avoided those counters.

thanks dear AirAsia staff who was so kind to us during this time. 

and lastly, we went to take our portable WIFI. we booked a portable WIFI from Samurai Wifi. it was recommended by JTB at AEON Shah Alam. so we booked it from the website and took it on the day of the flight at KLIA2. by the way, they don't accept cash. luckily Alisa still have some money in her debit card, so we paid using that. i think the price for 5 days at Tokyo using the Samurai WIFI is about RM160. plenty money, but if you want to explore Tokyo freely and safely without worry, i suggest you to have this WIFI. and oh, and a powerbank. the thing only last about 10 hours.

oh, before we went to the departure hall, we went to McDonald and bought 2 burgers and fries to eat inside the plane. at this time i noticed the McD staff there were mostly old Indian women, which i really don't mind them for being Indian, but they were so slow!!! like hell, you have plenty customers, so work faster!

funnily enough, after we went inside the departure hall, there's a McD there and the same kind of staff were also there, and again they were so slow. i kinda guess that maybe they only hire these people to work at the airport?

oh. as i said, i brought handcarry bags only. i have 2 bags with me. a backpack with my clothes inside, and another small backpack for the camera, phone, powerbanks and purses. by the way, i recommend you to bring a small pouch for the Japanese coins cos they use them so often and you also can keep your SUICA card in it.i mean, the SUICA card is so good that the machine can detect the card even inside the purse. TouchNgo also can do that but the machine in Malaysia can't detect them as fast as those machines in Japan do.

i know cos i already tried. the difference is the fast or not fast. but still, usable and detectable inside the purse.

ok back to the airport.

oh we borrowed AhHin's and her sister's SUICA card. the card still usable even after 2 years of not using it. unlike TouchNgo that is unusable after you haven't use it more than a year or so. i think.

really, back to the airport.

oh, i had Ayam Goreng McD for my lunch before the flight. that's how i saw the slow staff.

as it was my first time checked into the departure hall, i was a bit in awe. like, yeay, another step closer to Tokyo! like that. i suppose there were about 3 kinds of check-ins to the gate. 1st, the passport check-in. then the this security/custom check-in. the guard there wasn't so strict by the way. at this time, i was wondering when will they check the weight of our bags.

then the 3rd check-in where it was a bit stricter but we still easily went in with no problem. it was satisfying at that time. i guess the guards saw my excited face, first time and all, so they mostly smile.

smile. the one thing that can easily lighten up a person's mood.

saw our gate. still wondering why they didn't check the weight of our bag.

then, off to our plane.

this is the time when i finally tell the world that i was going oversea

as i mentioned before, we paid for our seats, both for KL-HND and HND-KL flights. apparently, there were so many empty seats in the plane, my sis said the most obvious thing "if we know this, we won't even pay for our seats"

the plane was so empty, that there was a Japanese women who should have seated beside me, asked the stewardess if she could change her seat or not. the stewardess said "there are many empty seats, so she can change her seat. so the Japanese lady took her bag and told me "i'm going to seat elsewhere so that you can easily go to the toiler, ok?" i was like "oh, ok"

so-excited-to-meet-Tokyo moment

maybe cos the Japanese people are not that fluent in English and even the most fluent have the same quality of speaking English like me, so i felt like "wow, my English is brilliant" and i thank my years of listening to the interviews by non-English footballers and managers that play/ed/s for Liverpool FC for the understanding their weird English.

thank you, Rafa Benitez, Xabi Alonso and Jurgen Klopp.

2.30pm, in the plane, flying to Haneda Airport, Japan. the feeling was like being in a bus after lunch hour. a 6-hours flight that have plenty empty seats. i actually got bored after watching an episode of 1N2D, an episode of Fight My Way and an episode of Queen for 7 Days. so i ate the McD fries. some people already pre-booked their meal.

i also have that picture of clouds-when-i-am-flying

then, there was dinner time, which i ate a McChicken. i suggest you prebook a meal if you fly with AirAsia. the smell of the food was so good, that the McChicken can't even beat it. so both Alisa and I asked the stewardess to give us one. we used the only available Ringgit cash that we had. i forgot what we ate but it was good. very very good.

i also have picture of sunset-while-i-am-flying

then, we arrived. the smoothest landing of a plane that i ever had. maybe the Japanese road or what but the landing was so smooth. i saw a Star Wars plane by the way. and i think they have longer path to the taxiway than KLIA. and i never saw that many planes in one place before. like, wow. plenty.

oh, there was an announcement about checking the weight of our bags. we were like "finally~" and also the announcement "welcome to Haneda International Airport, Japan" in that formal common Japanese tone.

we arrived and the first thing we did was went to the toilet...

...😁😂😃😄😅😆😆😌😍....

....i used it. Alisa also used it. i went out first, and Alisa went out of the cubicle too. we looked at each other and we laughed, HARD. "CANGGIH GILE TOILET DIA, ALIA!!!!"

and i'll end this here.

ps: might have small post about Haneda airport later

i went to Tokyo: planning time

Assalam and hello.

few weeks ago, i went to Tokyo. 30June-4July. hoho.

my flight ticket was paid by my sister, who suddenly wanted to go to Tokyo. i didn't have any money at that time (and also now) so i was contemplating at first. then she said her friends mostly are blacklisted by PTPTN, that they cannot go to any oversea trip.

so her last resort is me.

it wasn't the "i'll pay for ur tickets first" that convinced me to go. it was her history of travelling anywhere. she had plenty bad lucks whenever she had a plan to travel. there was a time that her friend who kept the tickets for her USS trip lost her father, so end up that she could not go. money burn just like that. then there was that time where she planned a short stay at Majestic Hotel in KL, and she couldn't go there too. then there was that time when she already bought ticket flights to Krabi, and suddenly there was bombing incident in Thailand. conclusion: her travel luck sucks.

therefore, she asked me. and i pitied her bad lucks. and i might as well accept it cos the last time i actually went travel oversea by plane was about 12 years ago where i went to Bandung and Jakarta with my family. at that time, the 1ml liquid rule haven't even exist yet.

so we bought the tickets on January 29, my sis' birthday. bought from Airpaz. the price for 2 people, return tickets were about RM1899, AirAsiaX. we chose the best time we could think of: a week after Raya, where nobody could disturb my raya. oh, we purposely chose summer time cos we wanted to save some money. so we chose to just rely on handcarry bags cos we didn't need to bring too many clothes. but still, no plan is perfect.

our accommodation? we booked them at Grids Nihombashi East Hotel & Hostel. the hostel was rated 'fabulous' in Booking.com. it's about 3200yen/night. i'm a person who always plan ahead. i saw that we could cancel it before 29th June (flight:30th June) so i booked for 4D3N.

as it was our first time travelling overseas without the parents, i sent plenty messages to the hostel and they were kind enough to answer those questions. here are the screenshots:

so i asked them about the amount of plugs they provided for 1 bed. btw, i stayed in a dormitory-styled room a.k.a a capsule. woot woot!

and these are my favourites 😂😂😂

kawaii-ness at it best!

btw, the flight we chose would depart at 2.30pm, Malaysia time. it'd arrived Haneda Airport at 10.30pm. because we thought that we might be delayed at the airport, so on the 30th June, we planned to just sleep at the hotel.

oh, you really can sleep at the airport. many people do that. there is also shower room. but unlike KLIA2, where i found to have free shower rooms, Haneda Airport's shower room has an entrance fee of 1500yen/30min. additional 500yen for each 15min more. tho i heard they provide free toiletries.

so the initial plan: arrive at the airport, pray at praying room, sleep there (if can), shower at shower room.

THAT was the initial plan. as usual, there's no perfect plan in this world.

i'll talk about that in the next post when i have free time. tata!

racist? sexist?

Assalam and hello.

went to the market this morning. stopped by the bank to cash out some money and saw 2 black guys in front of the bank.

they did nothing, really. they were sitting and chatting with each other. normal stuff. but i told my maid who inside the car to lock the door.

it was ridiculous, really. we locked the door when we usually don't.

am i really that racist?

i remembered that time when i saw a group of Indians  guys at the market trying to sell stuff. i locked the door too at that time.

is it bcos i was scared of them?

am i really that racist?

then i realized i think i usually did that whenever there's are motorcyclists or some men wandering around the car. i locked it whenever that happen.

the similarities in all these situations are that i only do this when there are men around me, excluding those i know. men, even Malay men. i don't trust them.

so i guess i don't trust men then.

now, is this sexist?

bye.

update about UPTA

AsSalam and hello.

update about my UPTA appeal:

REJECTED.

bcos of QUOTA.

apparently, the cost for the UPTA scheme were lowered so much, that UITM have to make a quota after years of not having one.

unfortunately, they had to do this deed when i want it so badly, so badly my entire semester actually depend on this.

they only provide it to 500 students. i'm not sure myself, but i think that 500 includes the students from other faculties too.

so... i'm broke for the next few months or maybe until i have a job.

yes, i have my father who have provided for me for years since i was a little child, but i have my pride too. until when will i ask my father to support me? until i'm 30? 😔😔😖

this is the 1st time i ever feel that i should just have a job instead of continuing my study. but i love to learn new things tho. i love doing lab work. i just hate climbing the stairs and the hills and also park the car at UITM. no regret but i have to just swallow my pride and ask my father for help.

i've just send my car's aircond for a repair just now and coincidentally, my father was close by and he had lunch with me and my brother. as the luck shine for me, my father paid for the repair 😊.

as much as i feel happy and grateful and very lucky for that, i still feel a bit sad that i still need to ask for money from him.

my supervisor is a bit guilty about this. i hope she does. i mean, who will take care of her lab this semester? someone who doesn't know anything obviously.

still, i hope she has a good UPTA student that will give her more good than harm. i wish her and the new student well. just don't come to me for free and ask for something. i don't have the money to help you. really.

ps: ooh. there's a meme generator on the internet!

appeal letter for tutor

AsSalam and hello.

update about that problem i had few days ago.

i asked my supervisor yesterday and she was also surprised that my application was rejected. she said she will check on it and told me not to worry much about it cos i also told her that i became stressed because of this.

she said again"takpe. don't worry"💪

i met her again. i updated her about my labworks and all (got some scolding cos i forgot what happen when glycan associate with proteins. my mind went blank. she told me to give the answer by tonight but i 'accidentally😳' forgot to tell her), and i asked her about the UPTA update.

she said she haven't checked yet but she told me to make an appeal letter first and mention that she will support my appeal.

appeal letter. a formal appeal letter 😖. i got A1 in my Malay subject when i did my SPM and at that time, i could even wrote 4 pieces of essay, front to back in just 2 hours. but this only relevant if i write a non-formal writing.

a formal one? an appeal? that is one of my weakness😓. i couldn't even write the right words when i emailed a bank in Malay language. not saying my English is good, but i've been reading so many journals in English that i am mostly comfortable using English words for something formal.

so i asked for help from the best person who can help me with this: my stepmother. she works for the government. she read and writes formal letters almost everyday. so i asked her for help.

and the result is fantastic. in my opinion anyway. thanks Cik Jie! you save my life here!😆

sorry. i won't upload the official one but this is the gist of it 🙈.

anyway, here's hoping my appeal will be successful or else i really have to ask for my father for pocket money that is in smaller amount.

bye then.

ps: i ate 4 muffins today 👅🎂. yeah, i've just noticed that blogger support emojis. haha. 🐐

Plz Don't Be Sad.

AsSalam and hello.

i'm blogging again.

why? cos Highlight a.k.a the legendary old BEAST just dropped their mv for their new song, Plz Don't Be Sad.

as usual, i understand none of the korean lyrics, but the song is so good, i have a smile on my face throughout watching the mv. the chorus is quite addictive. yeah i cannot even pronounce the suppose lyrics but the chorus still feel good for the ears. so that's nice.

some said the song is like a chill Block B song. i only know Zico tho so ok then.

Doojoon looking so mighty fine in the mv and the others also just as good but not as good as him ahahah but still with all the stressful stuff that happened to me for the last 12 hours or so, this mv and this song is my current medicine.

feel nice to see Gikwang at the center, enjoying himself better than before. a tiny bit disappointed that Dongwoon's voice not as clear but oh well. Yoseob and that game looking like a childish and adorable 8y.o boy.

overall, i love this song. the song before this song is also nice. i'm happy Highlighter! hee.

update about the problem before: told my dad about it. was hoping for a montly allowance like when i was doing my degree. he told me to check with UITM first and nothing can be solved, i have to accept it and move on to other things. might checkout some translating work too.

no tutor, no money, have problem.

AsSalam and hello.

i'm a bit in a depressed mode right now. all of sudden things are not looking good.

currently, my allowance depends on this teaching assistant scheme by UITM. i was expecting that i'll be doing the tutoring for this semester. however, suddenly, VERY SUDDENLY, my application for the UPTA is unsuccessful.

madness. now i'm shocked. very very shocked. my plan for the next 5 months just went blank, and i don't even have any plan B to prepare for this.

now i'm not sure how to have my own money. i had this plan to do a part-time job possibly this September, where i expect that my labwork might have finish by that time. but now, maybe i have to do the job earlier than expected tho.

i was thinking where should i get my allowance right now. things really not looking bright. part-time job is an option, but difficult for someone like me who is a research student hoping to finish her last labwork as quickly as possible.

credits image: theodysseyonline.com

currently, my labwork take 3 days of the week, with each day take about 6-12 hours of the day. the only work that might be helpful is a do-at-home job like key-in some datas like in the old days where a piece of data= RM1 each.

this is tough. in normal days, i'll choose a part-time job over doing labwork but right now i'm in the most crucial moment of my research. coursework students might have better chance to do part-time job cos they know when is their class and all, but my research can be too flexible, so i can't do inflexible part-time job.

tough. very tough.

you might have notice the ads in my blog. that's one of source of income. i put the ads since 2010 but the revenue that i got from that since 2012 is $3.++. HAHHAHAHA. tho that might be bcos of the lack of updates. i did notice that there is an increase of $2 since i blog about Train to Busan and that was few months ago.

so imagine if i update ALL THE TIME maybe i can have some bits of money from that then.

oh. my eldest brother just told me about his plan to do GrabCar. ok now that is one option. but that is only possible if i actually have a less than 10 years car. currently, i'm using a WIRA that was built during 1998. Commonwealth Games in Malaysia was during that time. Rombongan Cik Kiah was during that time. hrm.

this problem actually stressing me out since last night before the Man City vs Liverpool match. i could not focus much on that game. thankfully it was a non-boring draw, nevertheless still a brilliant match by both teams. i did have the thought when looking at those young football players that are mostly younger than me who also have more money than me too. i mean, Coutinho is only 25 this year, i think, and he already has 150k pound/week. granted, his job is difficult, but still.

yup, a Mickey Mouse tattoo on a very fit and rich Coutinho's abs

credit image: foxsportsasia.com

ah well. praying for a best outcome from all of this. this is a small matter compare to other problems i had encounter but not unsolvable. pray for me that things will be better then. thanks.

You'll Never Walk Alone.
the Liverpool version, not the BTS one.

Some bits of reminder

Hello.

To be honest, nowadays i am a boring person. I stay at home or go to the lab. I feel content when i go to the lab. I feel like i am relevant when i go there.

Then i saw all those stuff that i need to clean up and i avoided the lab after that. But i still go to the lab. I did my work and just avoid the cleaning activity.

I get easily bored nowadays. I watch a drama and some of them still haven't finish yet. I paid RM10 for a month of VIU subscription and the only thing that i actually watch from that is New Journey to the West 2 and 3.

Honestly the show is so brilliant and hilarious, i have to praise PD Na for being a genius in the variety world.

Anyway, i haven't finish most of the drama that i had started watching. the only one that i actually finish is Goblin. Which is so brilliant, my ears still want to hear some bits of its OST.

Liverpool not having a good start of the year too. And so my mood is down. I need them to win. Get themselves some good vibe and all things will be good. Currently, things just seem out of place. The players are so weak minded.

Oh. I'm getting fat. The boobs not getting bigger. But my thighs are bigger and uglier than ever. InsyaAllah i'll be going on a trip later on this July so i'm hoping that i'll be back to my normal weight when that time comes.

Another problem that is stressing me out right now is MyBrain15 haven't paid my March2016 study fee yet. And i just got a text that i need to pay them by this February. I went to UITM finance department and they said MyBrain15 have no money to pay the students right now. And i can't do anything about it. The staff there did say that i should sent an email to them so they can solve the problem. I did send the email but for days now, there is still no response.

So here i am, will advise you, take MyBrain15 if you want, but prepare some bits of money just to be sure that this problem will not occur.

Be grateful. Ta.

Happy Malaysia Day

AsSalam n hello.

Happy Malaysia Day.

A country where the corruption is everywhere and the people don't even notice that what they are doing is corruption. Life is good after all when doing bad things not even noticeable.

But still, without Sabah and Sarawak, we won't be as rich as today.

And without MO1, we won't get as many debt as today too.

Life has made mature adults become 'aku malas nak kisah' then 'what happened? Did something happened??'.

Maturity change you. Life change you. So many disappointment that you just have to enjoy life even for the littlest things. Like seeing a pokemon, you feel so excited catching a Zulbat when you already catch it zillions of times.

Freedom is so far away for me. Sometimes i regret why i didn't just work and have a less than RM2k salary instead of being a postgrad student where i only get allowance for 2 years only. But then again, what is life when you think that you expect yourself to not be a student after 2 years?

I am more mellow now. Maybe the 'i don't care attitude' makes me mellow. I try not to shout too much. I try not to be angry too much. I become more reasonable. And when this happened, i see things from a mellow perspective. You see how unreasonable a person is when she's angry. You see the cruelty, the rudeness, the selfishness a person can be.

Such is life. No freedom when you have no money,  no freedom when you are still dependent on others.

Happy Malaysia Day. Where the country only unite only during Olympics.

And also during holiday season.

Enjoy life. Ta.

Train to Busan

AsSalam and hello.

have you watched Train to Busan? the one that has that movie poster of hot Gong Yoo carrying a little girl with the lovable Jung Yumi behind him running with him from behind? and with some trains and explosions at the background? and if you notice, there might also be hundreds of zombies at the back.

yeah. this one.

oh there's also Sohee, Choi Wooshik and the brilliant Ma Dong Seok in the poster.

i'm not a fan of zombies. really. excluding the sequel of that Maze Runner movie, i kinda hate every zombie movies out there. the last one that i remember that i actually like is Night of the Living Dead, which is brilliant.

but this Train to Busan tho, might have top it. it was brilliant! it was thrilling! i knew i would like it, but i was actually avoiding it cos i don't like zombies who eat human flesh scenes. to be honest, i'm not a fan of horror movie or any ridiculous movies like Final Destination.

but if you're a Game of Thrones fan, those brutal scenes are nothing after all.

this movie, this Train to Busan movie is just different. it was like i was riding a roller coaster for 2 hours when i saw it. i couldn't keep quietly at my seat. my sister also didn't sit quietly cos both of us were just so nervous. i love that thrilling feeling. it was awesome.

Ma Dong Seok tried to punch a zombie, ooh, i even moved my body.

Gong Yoo tried to escape, ooh i made an escape move.

it was awesome. it was fantastic. 

it wasn't so much of the actors or the storyline that made me excited. it was the feeling that i got when i watched it. the actors are brilliant, every Korean movie fans know that. but the characters's desperation to survive is just so strong, you end up feeling intrigued by it.

and the sacrifice. wow the sacrifice. you see how much impact a person's kindness can do to a person. it was sweet, sad and wow.

i haven't had this kind of feeling when i see something. i think the last time i had this much impact might be after i watched The Princess Man. 

you have to thank Korean directors for knowing how to make a person absorbs in things.

Kamsahamnida.

all this for sexy legs

AsSalam and hello.

i have some little secret to tell.

i join London Weight Management.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA.

yeah. i really did. tbh, i kinda feel a bit regretful now cos its name has 'Weight Management' instead of Slimming stuff.

ah well.

i know you'll say "why Alia why?? you so thin. what else you need to change?"

tbh, i love my body curve. i have breasts, not too big, not too small. still some meat in it and i like my look when i have my shirt hugging my body. so really, i love it.

the thing is, i want a nice pair of legs. i love my legs. but if i have a chance to slim them like those model's, i'll take that chance.

this all started yesterday, after i did my progress monitoring presentation. i did ok. thanks to the panels who were very kind to help me not feeling bad. i was in a brilliant mood after that. the Liverpool 6-0 win over Villa also better my mood. i felt like nothing could change that mood.

the London stuff was just a trial actually. i answered a survey at Ensogo, and they gave a free-trial of that weight stuff. so i went. but hey, the consultant there was a bit demanding. and when she said i could use the student price for 10 sessions, i immediately took it.

ok ok. i did spend some time thinking. but only after 5 minutes. then i paid 3/4 of the full price.

ha ha.

like i said, nothing could change my mood. i was in the best feeling ever. and i have the money to spend it.

so the consultant got really happy that she finally had a new customer and so she took care of me. got some treatment done. tbh, i don't really care about the names of the treatment. i was just thinking "how will my legs look after this?"

still, most of the treatments kinda like 'steaming' me. literally. i got 'steamed'. literally. liquids went out of my body in non-sexual way.

thing is, i would like them to tell me the time spent for doing those treatments. i was in a happy mood. i had to lie down myself on a bed and wait for toxins to came out of my body for about 40minutes. i should have bring some books or anything that could make those stuff less boring.

the consultant was a bit sad when she asked me if i had a good time. i said "ok la".

then i realize that i never am satisfied with anything. i could have gone shopping but even if i buy anything, i still am not satisfied. the excitement is gone.

so i end up spending at this pricey stuff. ah well. better now than later. ha ha.

anyway, as this is a weight management thing, i forgot that i have to manage my weight including my food. or else, those liquid stuff gone out of my body treatment will become useless. so i'm having the first diet in my life. be jealous. har har.

and let just say, love your body. never diet. eat well.

ta then! :)

Bit by a kitten

Assalam

Bit by a kitten few days ago. Think it was nothing until the blood kept on flowing. Did the necessary first aids and think it was good after that.

Few hours later, the pain from the bite didn't go away. Not sure why i have the feeling of 'no pain no gain' mood. I was very content on withstand the pain with no painkiller and all.

Nway, i slept with the pain. like 'chill, i have a cat bit near my thumb n i'm all ok eventhough the thumb almost look purple like a brinjal'.

Next day, i woke up and realized the bitten area became a bit swollen. It was a hard to move the thumb at first but after a few hours, the pain subside.

Still, i bought a gel to decrease the bruise.

Did it went away? Nope. Instead of purple, then it became red.

But there was no pain anymore. There was just the redness. So i had to surrender and went to the hospital with my father. Got myself a tetanus shot with a smile from both the doctor and the nurses when they heard i got it bcos of a little kitten.

And oh, an antibiotic too. Cloxacillin.

So now the pain is gone and the colour is in natural state.

I realized that if you want to have a pet, you better get yourself a tetanus shot first. Even a vet student needs that. So pet owners must too.

Bye then. I suddenly have a need to blog cos i have something on my mind.

Ps: the doctor asked me if i want a painkiller. I said no cos i might get addicted to it. I didn't tell her that tho.

Luck and rights

Assalam.

Been in a complicated mood nowadays. Since November, my life was a bit up and down. Since the day i hit a pillar at Blue Wave Hotel and left a big mark on the BMW Z2 that i drove, my life had been a bit stressful.

Oh. Did i say i drive a BMW now? Cool huh? my juniors were like "whoa!" but since that ugly smudge appeared, the BMW lost it glamour. Cis. I'm too lazy to spend my money to touch up the car.

Now that this topic is about luck, another unfortunate stuff happened the next 2 months after November.

I fought with my dear immature brother.

Oh. Twice.

First, it was because i told him he treated my other brother like a slave. And he got really really mad. And he cursed me after that.

A month after that, we had a fight again. Because i told him that the Macbook he was using is mine and that he needed not be stressed about the laptop being wrecked. he got mad and kicked my legs and hit my head too. Maybe 4 times? I did got a bruise at my shin after that. Had a hard time to pray for the few days tho.

So i told my maid about it. And my maid told my dad. And my dad told that brother of mine that if he did that again, he'll be kicked out from the house.

Obviously i stopped talking to that brother of mine. I avoided him. But i think my father's warning made him realized that he needs to take care of his temper and me not talking to him is not making his life easier cos really, without me, how can he live?

This might be unlucky for some, but hey, i was actually lucky. My sister was there to stop him from hitting me harder. What do you think will happen if i was alone with him? I might be in the news 'brother hit sister till die?' oooooooh.

Thing is, i didn't cry when he hit me. I was holding my phone tightly. I was preparing myself to call 999. I have my rights. The guy lose the temper like an abusive drunk husband. Lucky him and lucky me. Things could be settled.

I am not sure what my intention for blogging this. But let just say, if somebody hit you, maybe you should just prepare yourself from being far from that person. Thing is, that is a dangerous love. You can live a better life without being abused. That time, i had people to stop him and me. Next time, i am not sure myself. Do your right as a human. We are human, we do not need to be treated badly just because women are weak but because we are human.

That is all.