Main Character mode.

Hi. 

Currently at Perodua Glenmarie. serviced my car here/ was so happy when the total i need to pay was RM270 and then suddenly got a call that my battery almost gone. 

so i asked "what's the total now?" 

"RM590" 

ceit. but still, i was expecting that. 

so i said "proceed jela". 

what's happening to my life so far? quite happening. September was dramatic. it made me realize that i AM the main character of my own life. 

earlier in September, my father passed away. 

and then, 2 weeks after, somebody at my workplace who hated me wants my role to be taken over by a junior colleague. and my new role now is at the faculty, no more related with research. 

at first i was sad la. i mean, i kinda overworked myself in the research team. i had fun but this year was quite discouraging. the way the management handled and always try to shift some blames, things just not that fun anymore. it was actually bleak. so i think moving to the faculty was maybe new kind of experience and hey, i know some people there and some of them actually looked forward to see me there. so i'm happy. 

and the fact that i don't need to care about those reporting anymore? good riddance. bye bye all of you. 

anyway, now that these things happened, it gives me some moments for me to gather my thoughts about continuing my study. with the way the job opportunities are so challenging now, i was checking out the PhD that offered allowance.

UITM: allowance=RM2000. research is related to Biofilm, my background. sample is algae, so eukaryotic sample, which i don't like. the supervisor is nice but i think our relationship might be like employer-employee relationship instead of mentor-mentee one. 

Taylor's: allowance=RM3200. research is related with Recombinant DNA and Proteins. which i like. both i had an experience on. the thing is, it'll be in Taylor's, a private. they give scholarship tho. but for how long? i know how private uni works. what if the project suddenly extended? will the scholarship extend? i don't want to pay those amount. i mean, i want a PhD but if that'll bring me debt, i don't want that. PhD is only a necessity for me, not a requirement...yet.

so i have to check on other opportunities too for my personal growth. but we dunno yet, maybe the new role will give a different kind of opportunity to me. 

so that's that. 

bye.

The Last Grin

Hi. i'm back.

remember that i mentioned before that my father was admitted to IJN? 

he passed away a day after he was discharged. 

more like, he passed on 7th Sept midnight. he was discharged on the 5th. 

i was in the mood to blog at that time. almost every day. but then, his last moment came without even saying any goodbye and he left us. so smooth, so fast, so bloody conflicting for me who had to see it, who also hoping that whatever happened at the last moments that day was actually an ease for him. which made me so frustrated but so at ease that Allah knows more about whats best for him and for me. 

still tho. it's bloody hard. so effing hard. i missed him so much. the whole family missed him. we care too much about him, i think even more than our own that it's so hard to pretend that everything will be as usual. yes, we're moving on. but the emptiness that he won't be around anymore?

that's just so hard.

grieving is tough. why nobody mentioned that? i experienced it before when my mother passed away but i was only 12. but to grieve as an adult? hard. very very hard.

it's tough being alone. your mind wandered to a dangerous place. that feeling of emptiness is a dangerous thing. but i need to tough up myself. i need to move on. my father left with a grin. like "hey, i leave first. meet you all later, but not now". his face was so relax. unlike the last moment he had with us, where we were all so panic, so not calm, but seeing him lifeless but with a smile, who are we to say "come back"? that last grin was a moment that it is time for us to let go. 

i wonder that if he left while saying an expected last words to us, will that be okay? will that be better? but Allah makes the best decision. i guess maybe the way he left us makes us realize that we love him more than we thought. i loved my father the most in the world, but maybe now i realize the love is way beyond than i expected.

oh Ayah, i missed you so much.

you were a very nice person throughout your life. strangers know you for the first time, and they can't forget you after that. you gave good memories to many people and i hope you know that. 

oh my heart. be a good Muslim. be a good child. be a good adult. stand up for what's right. my parents always let me having my own fun, never limit my own potential, never stop my interest.

i thought i can't end this post with a smile, but i did. 

i thank you all for reading.

Othman bin Ithnin. you were a kind man, a funny one. the joy to many people. and we will always remember the memories. 

Al-Fatihah.

4th Sept 2026 Rant

Hi. 

my father finally discharged from IJN today. Alhamdulillah! 

tho some sad updates: his heart is like 36% working now and his kidney is like borderline almost dialysis-stage. still tho, he's well and that's what matters most. he needs to monitor his water intake to only 1L per day only. 

it's actually hard for me right now to accept this news. but i have to remain like everything is normal. i just need to pray very very hard that Allah will let us borrow him longer than we wish. 

for now, he is here and i'll wish for nothing but more memories with him. 

so in another news, i got my blood tests result. i did mentioned before that i would do some blood test on Thursday the 4th Sept, and so i did. i used the RM50 package by Klinik Dr Prevent at Kota Kemuning. so the doctor took my blood, my urine and also did ultrasound to check my kidney. my kidney is okay and my urine is ok. apparently, the blood test showed that i have low hemoglobin. i have mild anemia. also, i have a slightly higher cholesterol LDL. so i need to eat more oats, lean red meat, more red bayam. and also more cardiovascular exercise. you might see me windowshop more after this. i need to reach 10k per day and windowshop is my briskwalk. 

i did not expect the mild anemia. but maybe that's the reason why i was fatigue. 

so after my father got discharged from IJN, i brought Alena and Alda to Lalaport and Lot 10. had Kagura ramen at Lot 10 and bought some food at Don Donki. then we went to Lalaport and i end giving Alena an early birthday gift: an ATEEZ's album. luckily the album is not expensive as during my time. i feel like i cannot disappoint another fangirl as i was also a fangirl before. but wow, there really wasn't any TVXQ or Super Junior's merch there. wow wow. 

and that is all. 

thank you for reading. 

3rd Sept 2026 post.

Hi. 

so i'm in my blogging mood. i blame the new keyboard for this tablet. 

so what happened after the last post, which was like 2 days ago? 

so my father got warded in IJN cos he has pleural effusion. i'm too lazy to google the right term but that's what he has now. his heart got weak so his heart didn't pump the blood properly and that affected his kidney. and kidney pushed the water into his lungs instead. so he was wheezing the last few days. the doctor wants to monitor him in the next 3 days so got warded la. 

so i took EL and had to take care of him last night. taking care of sick people in their critical stage is so so exhausting. but no matter, all for the healing stages. 

another news is that i will have a new boss who replaced my bestie colleague. and that person hates me. so yeah, i'm gonna be like the calmest person in the room for the next few months. we'll see how she's leading my workplace cos she cannot even lead her own committee and now she wants to lead another person's committee cos she thinks our committee is not doing well. or whatever. she sucks. badly. 

so now i'm at TRX, at Boucake Japanese Cafe. quite expensive but i choose cravings than being kemut. so yeah, bye bye RM70+++. and you know what, i have blood test tomorrow. 

oh. i ordered the Lunch Set which cost RM40 and also their famous souffle pancake,which is like RM34. ha ha. biorla mahal. asalkan happy. 

ok Wagyu Spaghetti Meatball dah sampai. 

ok makan dulu. bye bye. kalau rajin i tambah lagi. 

(continue)

ok i'm back. i had the one i craved the most, the Pancake. and it was huge!! i had to ask Alisa to come fast cos i don't think i can finish it alone and i also ordered the pasta. 

HUGE!

and yummsss. better eat it with another person tho. i was contemplating to takeaway or not, but as someone who hates to waste food, i requested the shop to pack it, together with the chocolate and also the banana pieces. they said okayyy. how nice. 

Alisa wasn't in a good mood as the PR firm for the place she had to collab with got upset with her for something unnecessary. and she got mad cos she talked in malay with the customers. erm yeah, this is at TRX, but still..... nak racist ke tew??? 

you know, work has not been fun this year. which is quite sad when the majority in it are so bloody nice. but hey, if the higher management being like devil, we just have to swallow and hope that we won't ever work directly with these people. 

ok now.

see you when i'm in the mood again.

1st Sept 2026 random post

Hi.

I'm blogging on a whim. 

My nail is broken, just to let you know. it's painful. a pain in the finger kind-of-pain. tbh it's not great. but we move on. 

i just bought a new keyboard for my tablet. this is a second one cos the first one was broken. it happened when i couldn't clicked the T. and so it broke, and i threw it away and bought this cute pink one. the previous one was a white, with colourful blinking lights. thought that function is useless. 

i dunno who will read this, but who cares. maybe my current and future employees will check. in case they wanna check my background or to find out my secret or something. 

the only secret they'll get is that i read adult mangas and webtoons. and why is that? cos i'm an adult. a wise and a fun adult who has her own hobby. just cos i'm single, doesn't mean i don't care about sex even though it's an illustration kind. 

anyway, life has not been okay, work-wise. my boss/work bestie got demoted to clean other department's shit. bravo to those who decide that and replace her with someone that is still wet behind the ears. i like the new boss but i need someone to look up to, not someone that i had to assist when his salary is way higher than me. he should support me, and not the other way round. but employers, right? they think they know better than us. 

...should've ask our opinion instead of relying on one person's word. i mean, we worked with our hands, not our mouths. so better come and check instead of rely on someone else's words. 

so that's one thing. 

i just notice that my healing process is by laughing, and not the kind that 'go to nature' kind of healing. i mean, the weather is hot and i want a place to cool me down instead of making me the responsible one. i had fun during the Tok Bak Family Day at Melaka last weekend. so so fun. i laughed so hard. good vibes all around. i know my relatives better. i had so many prejudice but during the event, i found out that some of them are so nice and i'm the evil one to even think badly about them. that's why we need more of this family day again. so that we can have fun, love while we still can. 

oh i baked the Chrissy Teigen's Banana Choc Cake.

still sedap giler.

ok now i dunno what to type. 

bye then. 

good night! 

hey

Hi all. 

Haven't blog for many many years. Though my Instagram is basically a blog with the long post there. 

Anyway, I feel like typing cos I have Xiaomi Tab 7 that has cute casing and cute keyboard. And a white mouse too. (I just ordered a cute mousepad cost RM3 from shopee last night). So now I'm blogging. 

I dunno if anybody still reads this blog but hey, let me rant. I feel like an author now. I'm active in Instagram now and only retweets things in twitter. I am a silent reader in Thread tho I occasionally commented some posts. But you know, I need some longer place to rant so I'm back to blogging.

Tbh I started blogging cos there is this situation that feels kind of high school happening among the group members now. Won't reveal who but that person is smart enough to know I am talking about her. But if you really read this, I just wanna say: nothing. 

So I am now 36. The last 5 years, I didn't feel as old as this time. This is when I feel '"omg I have only 4 years to be 40!!!" 

I'm in the best place in my life right now. I feel content. I am a responsible adult, who does not have the time to care about another nonsense except interesting gossip. I'm very busy right now. I dunno how I'm coping but I am actively working. i do rest at night and also during weekend. But I am super busy. I feel like work just added up all the time and now I feel like I have things that I might have missed. But that's a work matter. And so, cos of this busy-ness, I try to make time for myself. I socially go outside with my close friends or my family. Playing tourist at KL or playing cafe lover at TTDI. And this is how I managed my mental health. I will make an effort to socially be active. Though I choose to hang out with my friends instead of finding some online 'friends'.

That's basically my life right now: work, hang out, sleep, try to eat healthy. 

Btw I am trying to eat healthy by eating smoothie with anlene milk, oat and dates. I did have some glow up 😂😂. And I am trying reduce my dessert intake. Those who knows me might know my favourite place to eat cake and right now I am trying to make the visit to eat there at least once in 3 months. It was actually working until my birthday arrived and I got 4 cakes in 2 days. I need to finish those cakes fast cos they are delicious and expensive so I think I might have some sugar spike now. Though not in the bad range yet or else I'll be in an unhealthy mode. I am still fat tho. Overweight fat tho, not obese fat yet. 

Wow my sentences are so messed up. Oh well.

I'm blanking now. Might blog again.

What happened today? My boss gave me an extra RM10 angpow. 😆

Bye. 

Liverpool FC : 19.

I'm 30. And Liverpool FC just won a league title after 30 years.⁣

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I supported LFC since 2001. So I waited 19 years for the league title. And that 19 years alone had so many good memories, bad memories and the weird ones. ⁣

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From a girl who saw Michael Owen on a newspaper and thought "oh the guy is cute". Then came the 1st full LFC match i ever watched: a LFC v Man Utd match. Michael Owen scored twice, Danny Murphy scored another and oh, the famous David Beckham scored a consolation. And that's when the support started. ⁣

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I woke up at 4am just to see a football match. My late mother didn't mind a girl that just reached 12 watched a football match cos she knew that i kinda did the same with my F1 fandom (Mika Hakkinen fan here!!) She knew how passionate i could be. Tbh i was new. I only followed cos of Michael Owen. ⁣

⁣

Then Owen left. That's when i know those late nights weren't bcos of that one man. It was for a whole team. LFC just announced Rafa Benitez as manager to replace Houllier. I followed Rafa cos his old team beat Liverpool 2-0 in CL. 2004/05 season was that season when i knew that Liverpool FC is something else. That was when the people around me knew me as Alia Liverpool. Those comebacks. Those wins. They were all dramatic. And that also the time when i knew banters. Schoolmates laughed at me. I laughed at them. We were looking forward to go to school just to break the news that their team had lost. My team sucks in the league that season but we won CL so dramatically that it was incredible. ⁣

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Then i found out that the CL is not what the real Liverpool fans want. I mean, yeah, we got the Big Ears but they want the league. I was still naive as a fan. I was clueless. And so i learned the history after following how good LFC were in the past throughout the seasons after that 2005. ⁣

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After i knew about the history and the legends, we almost win the league but didn't really win it. ⁣

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Then the dark past. Rafa left. Liverpool almost disappeared. It was bad. I felt hopeless. Then some wise Americans bought LFC. LFC kinda had to start anew. New managers. Hodgson was hired and fired immediately. King Kenny replaced him, he gave us some good memories and a cup. He left. Rodgers came. We almost win the league again. Almost. Cos Hendo my guy got a red card when i was happy we beat Man City and also cos Gerrard stupidly slip. Crystal Palace broke us to the core and made it worse. We were 2nd. But that league? Not there.⁣

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Then Klopp came. Transitional period again. Just like Hodgson, Kenny and Rodgers. I didn't trust anybody but then that Dortmund match when we had that dramatic win, i was wowed. Ooh. We're back. ⁣

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But we lose a Europa League final against Sevilla, then a CL final at Kiev. Both stupid finals that i want to forget. The finals were stupid, but the LFC team were getting better. So many brilliant display. Shame there weren't any trophy to prove that. ⁣

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Unexpectedly, we didn't won the league in 2019 but won the CL instead. It was surprising. We were so good in the league but we were more disciplined in the CL. 1st trophy. Klopp's first with us. Hendo my guy the captain's first trophy with us. ⁣

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But still. The league. When will the 'almost' end?⁣

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It ends. No more almost. Liverpool Football Club finally win the fucking league. After 19 years for me, after 30 years for the one who had waited forever. ⁣

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Thanks Klopp and co. Thanks Hendo and teammates. Thanks LFC supporters who supported them before 1990. Thanks for waiting and thanks for letting us join the wait. The wait was worth it. ⁣

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You'll Never Walk Alone! #LFCchampion